Monday

Long Distance Relationships


Last summer, my boyfriend moved to New York City from Pittsburgh, Pa. I live in Pittsburgh. I have learned that long distance relationships are hard on you and your relationships. You're trying to live your life in your home city and live a relationship on the road.

Most adults enter a relationship because they want someone to spend their lives with. I'm no different. However, it's hard to share your life with someone who isn't there. Sometimes you ask yourself "What's the point?"

Eventually, a lot of long distance relationships are crushed by the pressure because it takes so much out of people. Long distance relationships aren't so much built on faith as they are built on work, and most people don't want to work that hard. Busy people have busy lives. They get tired, they get lazy, they take one another for granted. They make assumptions about what their partner should know or understand. They fail to appreciate that absence is a fertile ground for frustration.

Successful long distance relationships involve people who ensure that their presence is felt even in their absence. When they fail to do that, emotional distance is created, which is more difficult to overcome than physical distance.

You get lonely. You want someone to do things with and that person is unavailable. You get distracted. You get frustrated. You have something to share with your partner and you can't reach them. You get tired. You're packing and traveling so much that you become exhausted by the effort.

However, anyone who's been in a long distance relationship knows that the real trouble starts when you begin to think that the effort is just too much.
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