Friday

The Post Valentine's Day Blues...

Finding someone with whom to share your life is one of life's greatest challenges. In this post Valentine's Day period being single can be even more trying. However, being in a relationship that is less than fulfilling may be more are challenging at this time. Apparently, a lot of women are feeling challenged because I keep getting pulled into relationship conversations with my friends. And these are not "I hate men" conversations. Rather they are confessions of disappointment. They tend to be "I cannot believe that I got my heart broken again" conversations.

I think that a lot us are feeling this way because Valentine's Day makes love, or least the appearance of it, more obvious. There are flowers, candy and poetry everywhere. And in the post-Valentine's Day period you have time to reflect about whether your life fits into the Hallmark image.

If you don't have "it", its absence is palpable. And if you have been faking it, you feel exposed.

Men don't necessarily have it easy though. Often they wind up being the bad guy, even if they tried to make the day special.

Many men complain that women place too much value on Valentine's Day. They say that it is too commercial, too forced, and too much. However, they miss the point.

Women who value Valentine’s Day do so because they want to feel significant to the man they love. And what really makes us feel special is receiving something personal--something that indicates that our man understands us.

When that doesn’t happen, women tend to be incredibly disappointed. And often, men don't understand why.

The truth is if women become disappointed after Valentine's Day it is because we were disappointed before Valentine's Day. However, Valentine's Day magnifies our disappointment and makes it impossible for us to ignore it.

I think that the magnified disappointment is why so many relationships end in February and March. Once you see the disappointment in all of its "splendor", it is simply impossible to ignore.
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