Tuesday

Discovering that you’re in love…


I have been described as being lively, but I’ve begun my love affair with life only recently. The interesting thing about falling in love is that it is the same every time. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12 or 50. Someone told me that once. However, I didn’t believe it until now.

My age doesn’t really indicate how I feel or reflect my experiences. I was really closed off and cautious until recently. So many things I am experiencing for the first time. It is amazing at how much you learn if you experience life instead of observing it.

There is a reason that they call it falling in love. You have the same sensation as when you first learn to dive. You are free falling, afraid that your entry into the water won’t be smooth. Your fears are realized when you discover the pain of the belly flop. You have the burn and the redness to prove it. Most people eventually learn to dive because their desire to master the dive keeps them trying. I gave up. Despite years of swimming lessons, I never mastered the dive. I simply lacked the nerve to keep trying.

And until recently, I lacked the nerve to allow myself the beauty of falling in love, with anything. It would be easy to make this a tale about my unfulfilling romances. However, it ain’t that simple. I have learned that if you protect your heart at all costs, you won’t fall completely in love with a man. Also, you don’t discover what you love to do. And, you don’t fall in love with life.

In order to discover what you love you have to try. Now that I am liberated, I am completely in love with life. I am also discovering my love for other things as well. We’ll see how it goes.

Love, diving, the risks are the same. I might belly flop or I might do the most beautiful swan dive ever seen, metaphorically speaking. I’ll keep trying until I get it right. I might even get the nerve to go back to the pool learn how to dive!
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