Thursday

Confessions of a Single Girl: My Doorbell is Still Betraying Me...


My doorbell situation is absolutely out of control. It’s like something out of “Scary Movie”, but instead it is a parody of my own life...

My neighbor, Mr. Klein, confronted me on my parking lot the other day about my doorbell. (For those of you who missed my first entry about this, this is he second time.) As he described the dates and times of my friends' visits with great accuracy it became clear that my doorbell continues to awaken him and his wife and embarrass me.

His comments were cloaked with a smile, but there was more than a hint of disapproval in his tone. I am certain that he believes that a raunchy romp follows every doorbell ring. Compounding my embarrassment, as he was walking away, Mr. Klein issued me a directive to, "Be good". I cringed. If I could have disappeared, I would have immediately exercised that right.

Mr. Klein is about 75 years old and I believe that I confuse him. I think that he is trying to figure out why a respectable girl would ever receive guests after 10 O’ Clock. Moreover, he married his wife when she was 19, so I think that he wonders why I live alone anyway.

It would be funny if it weren’t so darn embarrassing. As he was talking to me I felt my face getting hot. I also felt the intense need to provide him with an explanation about my habits. Then I resented myself for allowing his judgment to make me feel embarrassed for simply living. It’s amazing that in 2009 a single girl still has to confront the gaze of disapproving neighbors. Apparently, it is not enough to pay my mortgage and comply with the Co-op rules. I also must behave...

Shouldn’t a tax paying, upstanding member of the co-op be able to do whatever she pleases in the privacy of her home without justification, so long as it’s legal?! It’s like “invasion of the privacy snatchers”!

Stay tuned to find out whether I am able to get to the bottom of this, or at least man up and stop letting the neighbors punk me!!!
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