Wednesday

Why I am glad I knew nothing about the supposed end of the world...

I’m an intensely curious person. It’s how I chose my career. It’s why friends come to me for advice. It’s a huge part of who I am and influences my personality. That being said, I realized a while ago that there are some things that I will never understand and there are some things I am better off not knowing--like being aware that the world was predicted to end last weekend.

After giving birth I spent a great deal of time thinking about my mortality, the fate of mankind, and we go when we die. I have attended my church my entire life and I attended religious school for six years. I have the whole heaven/ hell thing down. Still, if I think about it too hard, my head hurts. Oh me of little faith? Nah! These thoughts are completely natural. At least they are in my circles.

When I am at my best, I cope by accepting that some things are too much for the natural mind. I accept that all will be revealed at the end. Since I have no desire to expedite my death, I am entirely comfortable living with more than a little ambiguity.

In my less evolved moments though, I worry more than I should. I obsess about things that are completely out of my control. And, I can be more than a little excitable. For those reasons I am really glad that I was blithely unaware about the prediction.

Had I known, I would have spent at least some time worrying. As I said, worrying part of my make-up. I grew up in the charismatic church and attended Catholic school. Those things along with all of the unpredictable weather that we've been having would have surely fueled my belief in an imminent rapture. That combination would have been dangerous when contemplating the Apocalypse. Images of the rapture and the babies with lost souls floating around in purgatory. That would be have been enough to drive me mad, or at least make me more than a little anxious.

Being anxious would have interfered with how I actually spent my time last week and over the weekend. I also would have likely passed the anxiety on to the baby and it would have interfered with my milk production. (For those of you who don't know, producing milk for breast feeding is a very tempermental process. However, that's a topic for another blog entry...)

The way that I see it, no good would have come of that.

Instead of being anxious I spent my time in bliss—ignorant of the prediction, enjoying my life and loving my family. Come to think of it, that is how I want to spend every day, including my last one, whenever that may be.

Since I missed the anxiety, I hope I remain ignorant of the other upcoming prediction deadlines and remain focused on those things that I can control and continue to live in the moment.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss! (NOTE TO SELF: Consider giving up the news...)
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