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Returning to Work After the Holidays!!!

Along with my holiday bliss I enjoyed a seemingly endless supply of dishes, laundry, and diapers. I thought that I would spend my holiday time relaxing and playing with the baby. I did some of that, but I was also REALLY busy!

I quickly learned that when you're at home everyday there is no relief.  Instead, there is always something to do.

I'm not whining, too much. I just thought that being home would be like hitting the lottery.  I thought that my presence alone would create order and peace in my house.

Was I high???

Apparently my presence at home just disrupted the apple cart.  The baby was confused.  She liked having me home, but having me here made her unruly and disruptive at bedtime.  All of the work we did in the previous six months was unraveled.  And we were left with a whining, crying mess, previously known as our sweetheart.

She also had vaccinations last week.  I thought that having the vaccinations while I was off was compassionate.  It may have been, but it also was a buzz kill! The 15 month shots are no joke.  Afterwards, the baby didn't like me, the nurse or the doctor.  She was uncomfortable, disagreeable and hostile--for days.

All we could do was wait, hope, and pray. 

While we did all of those things, my sister sneezed, the baby got sick, and I got the sniffles. 

Could I have planned a worse time off???

Maybe that is exactly the point.  Life happens when you are making other plans.  So even though I had plans to "maximize" my time off I had to give in to the rhythm of life. 

Life is messy. It is disruptive.  And it can be LOUD.  During my holiday I experienced each moment instead of over thinking how I needed to capitalize on it. I had no choice but to be.

Upon reflection, I think that being a working mom is than being a stay-at-home mom.  I know that it is sacrilege to admit this, but it was true for me.

We'll see how my thoughts evolve over the next year though. The truth depends on the light.  Until then, my hat is off to my stay-at-home mom sisters.  And I am retreating into the email hell that I call my work life.  I am sure that in a month or so I will long to be at home every day.  However, now I am grateful that I have a place to go and a wonderful woman to watch my daughter while I am there.

Does that make me a bad mom?!

(The photos are the baby and Andre at the doctor and me and the baby at home afterwards. We went through it last week.  This week I am at the "party" called work.  Whoo Hoo!!!)

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