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Mommy Mondays: I want to be a better mom...

On this day after Mothers' Day I am reflecting on my job performance over the past 19 months. I'm doing an OK job, but I still want to be a better mom...

I want to be the kind of mom who is able to get out of the house early and run errands with her baby. Instead, I am me and my baby sleeps in and I can’t manage to leave the house before 11 when I have to get us both ready.  At the Post Office this morning I saw a mom with two toddlers. It was 9:00 AM. This mom was out of the house and her hair was combed. Her kids were dressed and relatively well behaved. She had even trained the older one to handle the money. Maybe one day I will be more like her!

 I want to be the kind of mom that does the right thing and feels the right way about it. Sometimes I go through the motions, but I’m not really feeling it.  One day when my daughter threw up in my hair I thought it was gross not cute. I didn’t like smelling like sour milk and I was upset that I had to leave the house that way because there wasn’t time to wash my hair first.

I want to be the kind of mom that never forgets to get completely dressed. A few months ago I arrived at work ready to greet the day.  I took off my coat and went to close a door. A kind colleague quickly came behind me and put her hand on my back. Before I could object in outrage she zipped me.  Apparently I had forgotten to zip up my vest and I looked unkempt. Fortunately, I was wearing a blouse so I wasn’t exposed!

I want to be the kind of mom that has an organized and orderly life all of the time.  In contrast, my house is often out of order, it takes effort for me to be pretty and I only have flowers on special occasions. Also, if you must know, my child does not help me during my errands. Instead, she is the star in her own world. She is often the rambunctious toddler who interferes with other people’s dinner, runs on stage with the band and loses her temper with her mother and throws a tantrum when her mother doesn't let her sing with the band.  (Toddlers and Tantrums)

I want to be the kind of mom who manages to do a lot of tasks and makes it look easy.  Most of the time, I feel like I am running around trying to fit everything in.  Last week I managed to fit in a business trip, blogging, and chaired a portion of a health fair.  I did a ton of things. However, I was exhausted on Sunday and drank too much champagne at brunch and regretted it. I bet the women I admire in the “Town and Country” ads don’t do things like that. Hell, I bet the organized woman at the Post Office doesn’t do things like that. But I did and I do.
It would also be nice to be the kind of mommy blogger who is organized, disciplined and not always behind on her posts. Perhaps that's just being greedy though...
So what’s the moral? In the past 19 months I have learned a lot about motherhood, but like most moms, I am still trying to master it.  I am beginning to think that it’s a lifelong process. I think that most moms succeed in some areas and struggle in others.  I bet that mom at the Post Office didn’t run on a relay for the Pittsburgh marathon! At least I hope not. That might give me a complex!
(BTW-Andre is convinced that he has mastered fatherhood. Go figure?!)

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