Monday

Working Mom Weekends...

Birthday party fun!
I write a lot about the challenges working moms experience during the week, but the weekends are a different animal. During the week there are the conflicts that come with having two full time jobs. And during the weekends there are the conflicts from being someone who worked two full time jobs during the week and then managing one very demanding full time job during the weekend.

Moms don't punch in and we don't punch out. Instead, we are ON 24-7. When we work full time and get to leave the house, our duties change, but we still have duties...

Working Moms Perform the Majority of Household Chores


I am not an expert on the plight of fathers because that's not my lot. However, I am intimately acquainted with the life of moms. I am a mom. I coach moms. And I talk to moms that I meet publicly and privately. One thing that I have learned is that moms are the ones that I see at the mall, at the grocery store and at at parties. Moms are carrying the lions share of parenting duties, the marvelous and the mundane--whether they work outside the home full time or not.

Moms get it done.
"[A]ccording to a new survey by the Working Mother Research Institute. Seventy-nine percent of working mothers today say they are responsible for doing the laundry, and moms are twice as likely as dads to handle the cooking, according to the survey of more than 1,000 working parents. Working dads do tend to pick up the outdoor chores, and moms and dads share bill-paying responsibilities—but working mothers handle most of the child care."


Me smiling with my son

Working Moms Also Perform The Majority of the "Social Chores"


The survey results are startling, but they still don't reflect all of the undocumented, "non-essential social chores". They do not reflect the birthday party circuit that has become the routine of all preschool and school aged children. The birthday party circuit is intense. The parties require planning, presents, and parental presence. The parties last anywhere from two to four hours. The parties are a commitment beyond what most moms sign on to yet they do it, even if it is not always willingly. Most dads don't.
My husband doesn't. And, he wears that badge with pride because he has conducted a non scientific survey that bolsters his confidence in sitting out parties. When confronted, he can name a slew of other dads who have come before him and those currently in the struggle who refuse to attend parties. For that reason, he thinks his behavior is OK. He even says, "Men don't go to those things." Is there some sort of code or manual??? Are those other dads similarly situated to him in any other way??? You'd have to ask him. I don't know.

What I do know is that I attend most parties alone. Today, I went grocery shopping, attended the party, bathed the children afterward, and am writing this blog post at 11:35 PM. I don't say this to whine. It is merely a restatement of my day. And to be fair, my husband was not chillin' all day. Instead, his spent his day beautifying our patio, which is a labor of love for him and was entirely within his control. He finished his self-identified patio duties and his shower after 10:00 PM. I imagine that he simply "lost track of time".

When you're in charge of the well being of small children, one thing you are constantly aware of is the time...

Working Moms Lack Control Over Their Work


Moms, whether they work full-time or not, work long hours and have very little control over their schedules. Studies have often shown that those with the greatest levels of job satisfaction are those who have the most control over their. Moms have a lot of work, with little control. However, somehow because of the miracle of hormones we manage to love the work and instead resent those who give us so little control. That's why, even in the blogosphere working moms complain and smile. And I do here.

Inequities at Home Create Stress for Working Moms


The love of our children feeds our souls, but does not change the reality. Time off and weekends rarely represent leisure for moms. We simply exchange one set of duties for another. As we strive for equity in the workplace, we should strive for equity at home. One could argue, that playing field is the most unequal of all...









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