In the movie Love Jones , the male lead says, "romance is about the possibility of the thing." I agree with that. However, I think that the concept is more universal. life--truly living--is about the possibility of the thing. For a while, I was sleep walking through life, doing what was required without truly embracing it. Recent events have caused me to re-evaluate that and to embrace life and all of its limitless possibilities. And romance, is about love. Over the past year I have become committed to falling back in love with my life. New relationships have made that love affair possible. And, I don't take them for granted. Creating space for new relationships and making new friends as a single, working mom, and creating space is not easy. But it is necessary. For that reason, I have committed to making new friendships, keeping the old productive ones, and enjoying them all--in the midst of working, parenting, and adulting . I have learned that I have not experien...
Be Careful About Dancing at the Work Party...
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Working Mom doing "The Wobble" at an event
“We want everyone to be comfortable bringing their ‘whole
self to work.’”
If you have participated in any presentations from your company’s inclusion
office you know that there is an effort to get people to become more
comfortable being their authentic selves at work. Let’s be clear, I am here for
it. I think that discrimination against people for unlawful reasons is wrong
and should be stopped. I am supportive of the laws being passed to make clear
that people can’t be discriminated against for wearing their natural hair,
being in a same sex relationship, etc.
"Down with racism!" "Down with sexism!" "Down with ageism!" You get the picture. I am against all of the “isms”.
Still, I do question whether all of this “comfort” is going
too far.
I was recently at a work employee appreciation luncheon.
Because it was summer, they were grilling food. I guess somebody thought It would be
cool to make it feel like an old school cook out, like at your mama’s house
because they hired a DJ. As a working mom, I admired the efficiency of combining work and fun. However, in this case, I think it went too far...
You see, this DJ was L-I-T! He was a singing, rapping, dancing kind of DJ. He kind of reminded me of a Black version of the inappropriate wedding singer in the Hangover, gyrations and all! I’m not sure what he played later in the day. However, when
I was there he was playing “The Wobble”, the extended version. If you’re
unfamiliar with the song, I’ll share. It is a line dancing song that starts
like this, “Hey big girl won’t you back it up. Won’t you back it up!” This DJ
was doing the running man enthusiastically encouraging the “big girls” to back
it up.
The whole thing got me thinking. I should remind you that I
used to practice employment law. So, my mind started wondering things like, “Is
it OK that we are referring to women as girls and then calling them big and the
asking them to back “it” up??? Perhaps being called big is offensive. Maybe they
identify as small. What exactly are the parameters for backing it up at work???”
All that thinking nearly got me worked up in a tizzy.
And while, I did not find comforting answers to my
questions, I did know one thing for certain. Even though I LOVE the song and
LOVE doing “The Wobble”, there was no way I was dancing to it at my work
employee appreciation luncheon. I was comfortable leaving that part of myself
at home. After all, it was not my mama’s cookout!
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