One Secret to a Working Mom's Success: Keep Standing

Me, standing in Barbados Those of us who live our lives out loud on the internet subject ourselves to scrutiny. Some comment, "Nobody's life is perfect. These posts must be fake," Those making those comments might even be close to us because they "know our business" and they whisper and gossip and say, "she's so fake".  To those who may read my blog and make such comments, (the trolls) know that I hear you, see you, and completely disagree. 

Virtual School Is Taxing Families


Kids contemplating the future

Tax breaks are designed to help encourage citizens to engage in certain behaviors or make certain purchases that are deemed to be in the interest of society at large. This past year, parents of children in large urban districts were forced to engage in certain behaviors that are in the interest of society at large--investing in the education of their children because the school districts decided to pursue virtual schooling. To be fair, most of these districts 

To be fair, I totally agreed with the decision to start virtually. It was easier for me to plan for childcare. I didn't complain too much when it was pushed back in November because of the rising rates and there was a bit of inertia. However, now after school didn't resume after the holidays, I am incensed. There seems to be no plan. All of the parental help required to make this whole thing work without a tax break (furniture purchased, supplemental educational tools needed, etc.) is extreme. That doesn't even factor in the time and other resources.  

A couple of weeks ago there was a hearing where parents shared their stories. So many of them resonated with me. However, one stood out.

During the hearing, a mom shared her story. She described herself this way. "I am sitting next to my first grader all day and am at risk of losing my job." Her story hit home. The only reason I am not living that reality is because my mom helped for a while (until she quit because she said it was, "a lot") and now I pay people. The money spent was not budgeted because we chose public school, our tax-funded option. I understand paying for tutors as supplemental resources. However, now I have to pay people so that my kids can receive a tax supported service. I am one snow storm away or COVID exposure from having that all go up in smoke. And, quite frankly, the money I pay could be better spent on private school. 

I have to adjust my work schedule when those people can't come. And on those days, my first grader often winds up in tears because I refuse to sit with him. Makes me feel like "mother of the year!" 

And in terms of planning by the teachers, once I had to adjust my work schedule for two back-to-back unscheduled asynchronous days because my kids' teachers failed to secure substitutes when they were at the school distributing first grade devices. (My daughter is in fifth grade and it is still not clear to me why her teacher's efforts were required.) It has been a year since the schools shut down and this has been my life. I won't even discuss how it was a year ago when the schools were shut down and I was doing this by myself ever single day. Even thinking about those days stresses me a bit.

I'll stop venting though because what's the point?! 

Here's the point. I share my experience because it is not unique. Thousands of working moms have been living this life, walking in these shoes, and carrying this cross for a year. And it is taking its toll on them as well as on their children. Indeed, it is taxing--financially, emotionally, and spiritually. We are being double taxed because our taxes pay for public school and we were required to become teachers, buy supplies, and also become our kids' recreational outlet. We are being taxed because we have had to do more every single day and yet there are no more hours and our other responsibilities remain.

The tax is real.

We are being taxed because we are carrying the mental burden of leaving through a pandemic. And, we are also carrying the burden of our kids' angst. Not to knock home schoolers, because they serve a valuable purpose. That said, the parents who had virtual school forced upon them for a year are not homeschoolers. They didn't sign up for this and neither did their kids. And in Pittsburgh, their hopes have been repeatedly dashed with promises of returning to school that have been taken away.

So, as I post this, I am filled with cautious optimism that this madness may end before the school year is over. The optimism is cautious because I have lost all faith in the school district. And also, I am cautious because what will we have after the smoke settles. The outcomes for Pittsburgh Public schools were not stellar before the pandemic. The discussion of, "In-person v. Virtual" has failed to include any discussion about how do we drive achievement. I imagine it's because of the precarious predicament in which we find ourselves. That said, private schools and suburban schools were ahead before the pandemic. One has to question where the divide is now. And those of us who bet on public school in this urban district are left to question our parental judgment. Talk about taxing!


 

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