Equity does not exist in households where women make more!

Mom with kids on vacation "Female breadwinners face a much higher risk for burnout, infidelity, and divorce."  When She Makes More ,  Farnoosh Torabi Prince is one of my favorite artists. And, I think that it is genius that the beginning of his famous song, "Let's go crazy" mimics a marriage ceremony. It makes you wonder whether he was suggesting that marriage itself was a path to insanity. If you have forgotten the beginning, here you go, "Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today, To get through this thing called "life" Electric word, life, It means forever and that's a mighty long time, But I'm here to tell you  There's something else..." He writes the afterworld in the blank. However, a recent study suggests that "marriage" could be inserted in its place, especially marriage for high earning women. 

Women trying too hard, it may be inevitable...


The blog has been concentrating on more national issues, but now I shall return to things that are more closely related to my life. Here is one thing that I have noticed about life--women "try too hard".

As women, we are inclined to "try too hard". We are too generous, we are too nice and we do too much. Many times my friends and I have opined that there might be some thing in the genetic composition of women that turns us into "pleasers".

Upon reflection though, I don't think that we are born that way. Rather, I believe that we are conditioned to be that way. Somehow on our journeys--between maniacal puberty and marriage--we come to believe that it is our job to make the lives of others easier. And, it's true even if you never marry.

Somewhere along the way, you learn that as a female member of the species it is your job to make other people happy. If you are not naturally predisposed to fulfilling that role you adopt it in order to be accepted.

Everyone acknowledges the additional tasks imposed on wives in the home. However, work is frequently no different. Most female executives object to retrieving coffee for their male colleagues. However, they are slower to object to the other additional tasks imposed on them--taking notes at meetings, putting more effort in on presentations, and simply working harder. We often accept those tasks willing because we believe that they exhibit our team spirit.

Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled to be a woman. From as long as I can remember, I have loved girlie things, lip gloss, dresses, and long hair. I have also been more than a little boy crazy since I was like 4 years old.

The older I get the more aware I am of the unfairness of the expectations imposed on women in society. When you couple that awareness with the knowledge that women make less money than men for the same work, it makes me want to scream!

Still, I remain hopeful. Rome wasn't built in a day. And some men in my life inspire me. They recognize that things are unfair for women. Hopefully one day things will change so that women can stop trying so hard and can start living.

BTW--Even though I revel in being a woman, I long for a more level playing field. For the record though, that playing field does not level simply by putting Hillary Clinton in the White House...

Comments

Raphael du Noir said…
Hi Chaton

Your observations about the 'extra' expectations directed at/to women by society in general are quite accurate. I agree with you: many of these expectations are unnecessary / unfair. The inequality of the professional arena is something that puzzles me to this day.
I try to keep in mind that the last 100 years has seen some amazing changes in our society - changes that seem almost exponential in their number and societal impact. Let us hope that society will continue to "progress" (in every sense of the word) and we will see less inequity in the future.
After all, change is inevitable.
regards
Ken
Raphael du Noir said…
Hi Chaton

Your observations about the 'extra' expectations directed at/to women by society in general are quite accurate. I agree with you: many of these expectations are unnecessary / unfair. The inequality of the professional arena is something that puzzles me to this day.
I try to keep in mind that the last 100 years has seen some amazing changes in our society - changes that seem almost exponential in their number and societal impact. Let us hope that society will continue to "progress" (in every sense of the word) and we will see less inequity in the future.
After all, change is inevitable.
regards
Ken