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Discovering what it all really means...

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is
a kind of death. --Anais Nin

The amazing thing about life is that if you are open to it, adventures teach you amazing things.

In July, I wrote about my adventure in San Francisco. People have read lots of things into what I meant by that entry. However, what happened isn’t as important as the lesson. San Francisco taught me to accept life as it comes and to be present in the moment. Unfortunately, I have been unfaithful to the San Francisco lesson.

I have fallen back into over analyzing situations. Truthfully, I spend more time in my head than I do interacting with those around me. It is hard to be completely engaged when you’re looking for the next blog entry. It is as if you are an observer in your own life.

I cannot blame the blog though. I started it because I was already distracted. Recently, I have realized that there is a price to pay by being an observer and not a full participant in my life. It has cost me. I sometimes make those with whom I spend time feel less than special. I have damaged relationships and alienated friends simply because I failed to really show up.

Upon reflection, my trip to San Francisco in July was eye opening, but it wasn't life changing. My life changing moments remain ahead of me. My life won't truly change until I begin living with the same intensity and passion that I expend in thinking about my life. Hopefully, that day will come soon.

In the meantime, I'll have to remind myself to live in the moment. Hopefully, the blog won't suffer... :-)
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