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Constantly thinking about the baby...

It seems like I am constantly talking to the baby, thinking about the baby, or planning for the baby. I have read books, listened to CDs, and spent enormous amounts of time on the internet. I have also attended several classes. My great uncle has been quite amused that people can now learn how to “have a baby”. 

I have become consumed. It’s amazing. I never get bored of things baby related.

Indeed, carrying this baby is the only full-time job that I have ever had. I am cooking this baby twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. This job has given regular daily functions new significance.

I used to live for myself. Sometimes I would deprive myself of food to fit into a dress or miss sleep to achieve some goal or to attend some party. Now, I eat, sleep and breathe for the baby. Everything that I do seems more important now that I have responsibility for another life. Now, I actually listen to my body and respond to what it needs instead believing that somehow I know better.

Amazingly I have found time to take yoga once a week when I never seemed to find the time before I got pregnant. After I realized what was important my schedule became incredibly easy to manage.

Still despite all of my studying, preparing, and good eating choices, so much remains uncertain. The uncertainty has filled me with constant expectation. I watch my newly rounded belly and wait for the familiar feeling of kicking to let me know that all is well. Sometimes I even shine a flashlight on my stomach to motivate the baby to move.

Feeling the baby move is to experience a miracle. I know that women have been having babies since the beginning of time. However, carrying this baby still feels like the most important thing that has ever been done. Not because it’s my baby. But because bringing life in the world is such a major deal. I have always had immense respect for mothers. However, I am now in absolute awe of them.

Here’s looking forward to becoming one of them!
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