Saturday

New Mommy Confession: I am more than a little paranoid (other people's kids)

Before I had a baby, I was enchanted by all little children. I was inspired by their innocence and could not help approaching them and smiling. Recently, I learned that that instinct may have been chilled during childbirth.

Now, when I am with my baby, I try to avoid strange children like the plague. They know no boundaries. Also, they are little germ carriers. They may have colds or influenza. Who knows, they may even have cholera. I know that’s unlikely in America, but you never know!

I know that it sounds illogical to view little children as the enemy. They’re small and innocent. But that innocence is what makes them dangerous. They know not what they do…

Avoiding them is quite a problem. The baby is a small person magnet. She too is small, cute, and quite smiley. She has a force that attracts those she loves and strangers, especially kids.


On a random Wednesday night I went to the mall. I wanted to surprise Andre with a photo of the baby with the Easter Bunny. When I got to the mall, couldn’t find the Bunny. I asked one woman who said, “Oh he’s right where Santa was”. That made perfect sense, but during the Christmas season I didn’t see the inside of the mall because I was housebound with an infant. So her advice didn’t help.

Next, I approached a man walking through the mall with a cute little girl. He was quite helpful. As we were talking though, the unthinkable happened. The cute little girl approached the stroller with her hand out in her mouth saying, “look at the cute little baby!” Then she took her hand out of her mouth and reached for the baby. Normally, I am a sucker for anyone who talks about how cute my kid is. However, seeing that little girl approach my child transformed me from Chatón into “Shero, the Baby Protector”.

I was apoplectic! Like Charlie Sheen, I felt like I had Tiger Blood flowing through my veins. God help me, I felt like drop kicking that little girl like Hulk Hogan used to do in the WWF. It was that serious. It probably only took seconds, but it was like she was moving in slow motion. And then, before she touched the baby, the crisis was averted. Her dad grabbed her hand and said, “Look, but don’t touch her.”

I exhaled.

We found the Bunny. We took our photo. And the baby was no worse for the wear. Shero, the Baby Protector retired, at least for a little while, but she is always watching…
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