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Wednesday Words of Wisdom

"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook." -William James

I can't help but think that William James came up with this quote so that his wife wouldn't yell at him about leaving his socks on the floor...

Every woman that I know struggles with ignoring the mess left around the house by the men in their lives. Based on what I witnessed on television with the destruction of Kim Kardashian's celebrity women struggle with it too. How do the sexes who love one another so much at night peacefully coexist when the sun comes up?

The battle of the sexes is real. And if you let it, fighting about clutter will destroy all of the things you love about the relationship.

Watching the last season of “Kim and Kourtney in New York”was educational. Along with the rest of the country I was able to witness the unraveling of Kim Kardashian’s marriage. It played out like a badly written sitcom. One big point of contention for them was Kris Humphries approach to household chores. Based on what they portrayed, he was sloppy and picked up after himself in frequently. All of the mess got on Kim’s last nerve. Sometimes she tried to suck it up or ignore it. However, most of the time she simply asked him to pick up his things. It was as if she could only see his mistakes.

I know that I succumb to that sort of thing more than I would like. I get really annoyed about socks on the floor, accumulating laundry and the unmade bed that greets me whenever Andre is the last one to rise. I also get frustrated when Andre goes to the grocery store and returns with charcoal and his hair gel and forgets that we need things like diapers and Yo Baby yogurt.  I can’t help but think that doesn’t he live here too?

I spoke to a friend of mine who’s been married forty years and she told me the secret to marital bliss. And it sounded a lot like Mr. James’ advice.

She said that she’s been married so long because she manages her expectations. Her husband is a successful businessman, but seems to be fairly inept around the house. He doesn’t follow her instructions about house cleaning. He fails to bring back the exact things she requests at the store. And he never thinks about things they may need when he’s out and about. However, he is charming, loving, and takes great care of her when she’s sick. He also makes great food on the grill!

She told me that she chooses to overlook his shortcomings and focuses on his strengths.  It strikes me that this is not only wise, but it is loving.

Here’s hoping that I gain more wisdom every day!

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