One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Stay Open to New Experiences

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In the movie Love Jones , the male lead says, "romance is about the possibility of the thing." I agree with that. However, I think that the concept is more universal. life--truly living--is about the possibility of the thing. For a while, I was sleep walking through life, doing what was required without truly embracing it. Recent events have caused me to re-evaluate that and to embrace life and all of its limitless possibilities.   And romance, is about love. Over the past year I have become committed to falling back in love with my life. New relationships have made that love affair possible. And, I don't take them for granted. Creating space for new relationships and making new friends as a single, working mom, and creating space is not easy. But it is necessary. For that reason, I have committed to making new friendships, keeping the old productive ones, and enjoying them all--in the midst of working, parenting, and adulting . I have learned that I have not experien...
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Tuesday Truth: Moms Need More Help!

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Mom at the National Zoo
  • Seven-in-ten moms with kids younger than 18 were in the labor force in the United States in 2014. 
As I venture into the day to day grind of the official working world again, I am reminded of how busy my life is about to become. And I am not alone. The most common request that I receive from working moms through my coaching and personal life has a theme. They often jokingly wish for a "clone" to help them get everything done, more time in the day, or more "help". The sentiment was expressed most succinctly by Bernadine in "Waiting to Exhale", "I'd clone myself, but I wouldn't have time for the surgery." 


Husbands Help Your Wives, They Need it


I generally disagree to the concept of husbands giving wives, "help", because it presupposes that household duties and childrearing are the woman's primary responsibility and the man can simply assist.  (Click here to learn more about my thoughts on that topic.) The truth is, it's his house. They are his children. And he enjoys each of them as much as she does. Still, the facts don't lie, According to Pew Research Trust, "[i]n nearly half (46%) of households with a mother and father, both parents are employed full time, up from 31% in 1970. Working mothers (60%) are somewhat more likely than fathers (52%) to say balancing work and family is difficult." This suggests that women and men are having different experiences, which suggests to me that women are exerting more of the parenting effort, which is making it less fun.

Because gender roles seem to be deeply entrenched and will take a while to change, I have become practical. While I wait for the majority of families to adopt a co-manager model, I'll settle for more mom's getting adequate "help".  Based on the women I speak with and my own experiences, getting sufficient "help" would help to alleviate some of the stress. And besides, as terrible as it might sound something is better than nothing!

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