Observations

I realized today that we create our reality. I spoke to two different friends who had each had negative experiences.

I've known one of them for eight years. For the entire time that I've known her, she's been single. Not, fun, glamorous single. She's been somewhat lonely and sad single. Don't get me wrong, she has a full life--full of friends, a great job, and travel. However, she's never believed that any man could satisfy her need for a cosmopolitan existence. Indeed, she believes that American men are uncivilized, uncultured, and crude.

Wouldn't you know that she just went on a date with an American who suggested that they have lunch at a place a little better than a McDonald's. Ultimately, he picked up his lunch. She picked up her own lunch at another place (he didn't pay) and they merely shared a meal. So, it was acutally the date that wasn't.

My other friend just broke up with her boyfriend. She believes in her heart of hearts that people who love her will leave. Wouldn't you know that her ex-boyfriend was emotionally unavailable and she felt abandoned by him even while they were together?

As it relates to my life, I have a desperate fear of being controlled by a man. My sometimes boyfriend has been exhibiting controlling characteristics. While I believe that he is controlling. He can sometimes be a bully too. His own existence influences his personality in a way that he has a need to be right and to convince others of his rightness.

Despite his faults, a couple of thoughts have crossed my mind lately. Because my fear is so strong, it is possible that I'd see controlling behavior where it might not exist. Also, I recognize that the men that I become involved with have controlling tendencies because I attract those types of men.

I realize that both of my friends and myself are creating our own realities. I have other stories. I have friends who always seem to have good experiences. They're beautiful, financially comfortable, and have stable relationships. Those friends firmly believe that life will bring good things to them and it does.

It's been said, change your thoughts, change your life. Can it possibly be that simple?