I am not really sure that having a healthy work/life balance
can be done in my opinion. It seems like on occasions something has to fall
between the cracks and you choose which it will be. I know that throughout my
life I have had to choose on many occasions between my job and my
children.
That seems to be the biggest compromise there is when you are talking about
work and life. Everything else can be pretty much put on hold until it comes to
our children.
Throughout my work history I have watched how many people
deal with this dilemma. Once in a while it was a man dealing with
family issues
but more often than not it was the woman who had a big decision to make. There
were a few women I knew that were in
positions of power and I was aware that
their husbands would take on the greater role as caregiver. And I have even
been privy to the couples who are both in positions of power that take turns in
the family responsibilities.
I have noticed in the various positions I have held that it
depends quite a bit on who is in charge.
And it also depends on whether or not
people take advantage of the one in charge. Some bosses are completely fair and
concerned about their employee’s family lives and situations and others do not
care and feel that the job is the job and home is home and the two should not
be mixed. Kind of like the debate between church and state, should they
overlap? Sometimes they must because they are issues that we all must deal
with.
My personal feelings on the matter are that you need to make
up your mind in advance what priorities you are going to put in place. Unless
you are destitute and have no other means you must decide who gets priority. I
know we all need our jobs but depending on our qualifications some of us are able
to change our place of employment if the rules are totally outside of our
comfort zone concerning our families. Others are not quite so blessed and even
then you must have a plan B when it comes to your children. You must find some
safe and loving haven for your children where they can find comfort when they
are sick if you can not be there yourself.
I actually had a supervisor (who was also a woman) state
that our company had a provision for very sick or contagious children, that I
should drop my very young child off at the participating hospital while I came
to work. There may be some of you out there that think that is not a bad idea.
My child had a really annoying case of chicken pox, they were only about six
years old, and the hospital in question was miles away from home and we live in
a very large metropolitan area. She also had young children but the husband
worked near their home and she had extended family members who lived near her
who were always more than happy to help her out. She said I might be affecting
my career by taking time off to be with my sick child. I stayed home with my
baby and I did not even blink an eye.
Having Children Changes Your Priorities
I know there are those of you who think quite differently
than I do and I suppose that is what makes the world go around as they say. But
when I decided to have children I decided also that I wanted to be a part of
their lives. I would have stayed home if I could have but the circumstances did
not allow me to do so. My career did not suffer any loss as far as I was
concerned but I was not out to make manager or vice president. My children were
the reason I was working and spending time with them was the most important
thing I could do.
So about this matter of balancing life and family I suppose
it all boils down to priorities. I think that is something that needs to be
considered before ever having children in the first place. Think about what
your priorities are and what you are willing to sacrifice because when you have
children and work it sometimes calls for a sacrifice of one or the other.
God
willing we have extremely healthy children and it will not come up very often
but you must realize that sometimes a compromise must be made.
You need to know where your employer stands on issues of the
heart and home before a situation arises and always, always try to have a plan
B. Life is full of surprises, kind of like the
box of chocolates that
Forest
Gump was always talking about. Things happen not only with our children but
also when we need to be home for a plumber, a cable company, or any service
that is opened nine to five just like your job.
I am a people watcher by nature and the way to figure out a
boss (unless they have a reputation that precedes them) is to see first of all
if they have any life at all of their own. I once worked for a fellow that was
a confirmed bachelor, did not like kids, worked twelve or more hours a day and
even spent the night on the couch in his office from time to time. How do you
think taking time off for the sake of your children would go over with that
guy? You are doomed from the start. People tend to have the same expectations
for their employees as they have for themselves. Your best bosses have children
themselves but sometimes even those bosses are inconsiderate because they have
a spouse that stays home and they really do not know what it takes to work and
be responsible for a child. In other words they are pretty self-absorbed and
think everyone’s life is like their own.
When you work for a large company and get moved around from
supervisor to supervisor over the years as I did you cannot always pick and
choose what kind of person is in charge. However, if the benefits are good
enough and you have enough vacation and sick time there is not much they can do
about your taking the time that is coming to you. Most large companies have
personal time for doctor’s appointments and taking care of things from time to
time. But I have also worked for small companies and they do not have those
benefits in place, which makes it so much more difficult. And if you are out
there working for minimum wage without benefits then you know that any time
lost comes off your pay check.
Balance May Be Impossible, but You Can Remain Sane if You Plan
The scales of life are very seldom balanced evenly in my
opinion and sometimes you have to improvise. You can however tip the scales in
your favor by planning for all contingencies and be prepared as much as
possible beforehand. Jobs are important, children are precious, life happens.
Author Bio:
Jack Meyers is a regular
contributor for www.nannybackgroundcheck.com. As a detective he wants to spread the knowledge of terrible things that can happen when people don’t
fully verify the credentials of a caregiver or any employee. He also writes for
various law enforcement blogs and sites.
Comments