It used to be the
battle of the sexes: Now it's the battle of the moms. Working and nonworking
mothers are slugging it out in the schoolyard over who's the better parent --
and who gets to have a sex life. “Mom Vs. Mom”
There was a recent
well written piece in the Huffington Post about being a stay-at-home mom
entitled,
'Stay-at-Home Mom' Is Not a Real Job. The piece generated a
lot of comments. If you’d like to read the piece and comments, click
here.
For the record, I’m not trying to
contribute to the so called “mommy wars”. There’s no need. I support mothers.
That said, since my blog focuses on the joys and challenges of being a working
mom, I felt compelled to contribute to this conversation.
Being a Working Mom Means I Have Two Full-Time Jobs
First, let me state the obvious. Being a stay-at-home mom and a working mom are different experiences. Because working moms have to be responsible for their work lives and their home lives they have to figure out how to "bring their A game" in two very different spaces. Acknowledging that is not a criticism of either one. It is just an acknowledgement of the truth.
All Moms Manage Their Households
One thing is the same though. By and large whether a mom stays at home, or works outside of the home, she is managing her household. As you know, I'm one of those working moms of very young children. So, the debate hits a chord. The reality is, as a working mom I have two full time jobs. I am a lawyer
and I am a mother. I am are as much one as I am the other.
I have two masters to serve. And that creates conflict. Also, quite notably
being a "working mom" doesn’t even mention the duties that come with being a wife…
Nobody is More of a Mom Than I Am
Nobody talked about taking away my law license because I gave birth because I earned it. It is unclear to me why anybody would question my ability to mother because I am a lawyer. As a lawyer there are tasks related to my job that I consistently delegate. However, that doesn't make me any less responsible for the the end result. Indeed, it is customary for lawyers to delegate. Quite frankly, in my experience, male lawyers delegate at an even greater rate than female lawyers.
Nobody says a CEO is less of a CEO because he/she doesn't mop the floors, fix the computers or change the light bulbs. In a word, successful CEOs are masters at delegating. So, I don't understand why anybody would suggest that a working mom is somehow less engaged because she works. The truth is, we are each the CEO of our lives and it is our responsibility to determine how the necessary tasks get done. Whether a mom personally performs those tasks or delegates them does not change the fact that she is responsible.
So, give every mom her do because she is working it (even if she has a little help)!!!
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