One Secret to Success for a Working Mom, Expand Your Village (Jack and Jill of America)

Jack and Jill of America member and her daughter Recently, I have become keenly aware that good kids are created by accident. They become good because someone made a concerted effort to pour positive things into them--things like, honor, discipline and respect for others. These qualities are taught through lessons and by observation. For that reason, I have been actively considering how to give my children more examples of people who embody those qualities.  Indeed, raising my children to become good people is my most important job.

One Secret to Working Mom Success: Focus on What Your Family Values

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We working moms tend to be short on time and long on ambition. For that reason, we need to devote our time to the things that will give us the most impact. So, let's talk about how you spend your time. Trust me, this is not a post to guilt you into feeling guilty about the time you spend on Instagram. I understand the necessity to see cute clothes, cute kids and cute cats!

Rather, I am talking about the time you spend doing things for other people that they don't really care about.

For example, the other day, I spoke to a mom who was planning to attend her son's Valentine's party at school. She was planning to attend because she had always done so for her girls and the girls really cared about it. Turns out, her son could have given two flips about her being there. However, she had already committed. So, she had to leave work, trek across town and spend time doing something out of obligation that he wasn't even going to appreciate. And yet, there was likely another activity he would appreciate more that she would miss because she used her PTO to attend the Valentine's party.

In essence, she wasted her time. And that is regrettable. 

Think about that for a minute. She took an entire day off work and her kid didn't care.

The First Lesson: Maximize Your Time and Resources, Do What Your Kids Enjoy

None of us have unlimited time and resources, especially us working moms. For that reason, it is important to invest our time and money on things our kids value. For me, the wakeup call was in buying dresses for my twelve-year-old daughter. There was a time where she wore tutus nearly every day and wore a tiara to the playground. I miss those years and I was trying desperately to hold on to them by buying dresses. As I fought with her about wearing the dresses, I realized that life would be easier if I just let her pick out her own clothes. Because I am a girly girl it was a bit of an emotional adjustment. However, life has been much easier. And you know what? She was much happier with the Lululemon belt bag that I got her than she would have been with any dress. I got so much more bang for my buck that I am never turning back!

The Second Lesson: Forget What Other People Want and Focus on Your Kids

So, here's my lesson. Working moms, we need to get delivered from doing what everyone expects us to do. And instead, we need to pay attention to what our families really want and need and eschew the rest. What is "The Rest"? The Rest are the things that other people want us to do that neither put money in our pockets or make ourselves or our families happy. I think that working moms are often exhausted and unfulfilled because they are focused on "the rest". Instead, focus on your kids. They are who you love, value and cherish. So, invest your time and resources into things that help you reap real, meaningful dividends. 


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