Friday

After a certain age, we crave balance...

One day at lunch, a man told me that he wanted to come home every night to his woman, a hot dinner and Kool-Aid with too much sugar in it. On its face, his fantasy sounds like a low class quest for sugar diabetes.

There was a time that I would have secretly laughed at his statement. But now I get it. He longs for someone to love and who cares enough for him to make his Kool-Aid the way that he likes it. At the end of the day he wants is really no different from a lot of us.

I used to always be on the run. I believed that my perfect life was just one party away. I partied hard, harder than some, lighter than others. Either way, I was somewhat of a fixture on the Black professional party circuit, which is comprised of the National Black MBA Conference, the Super Bowl, The NBA All-Star Game and Miami for Memorial Day to name a few noteworthy events.  If the party was in the continental United States there was a good chance that you would find me there.

No expense was too great for a good time.  Occasionally, I was even fortunate enough to party on other people’s dimes. I popped bottles and danced with the rich, the famous and the wannabes. It was a really good ride. Then, slowly, but surely, it lost its appeal.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a good party. However, all of that partying had my life out of balance. Because I was rarely home, my home was often in disarray. There would be piles of clothes that I had unloaded from my suitcases around my room. I didn’t always have time to wash them and put them away between trips. Managing my active work life and my vibrant party life was exhausting.

Once I took time to breathe I realized that my home life mattered. So, I started to take more time and pay more attention to my surroundings. I began to fill my home with things that made me happy and helped to fuel my soul. Surprisingly, I gained more energy and became more pleased with my life. I also started to be more thoughtful about what I really wanted.

Even though I need a little more than hot dinner and Kool-Aid with too much sugar in it, I realize that I appreciate the importance of living a balanced life. Instead of constantly being on the run, I am in tune to what I need. When I need rest, I rest. When I crave a hug, I reach out to my boyfriend who is only too happy to oblige. And when I want to entertain, I do so without feeling as if cleaning my home is a huge imposition. Now, I greet each day with a smile and renewed energy. And every once and a while, I still try to find out where the next hot party is!
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