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| Me with my favorite guy trying to stay balanced... |
Because I have
this blog and because I cannot help myself from talking to strangers, I am
often involved in conversations about whether or not balance is possible. It’s
an interesting question and not one that is limited to working moms. Quite frankly
everybody who has to work to make a living is plagued with the question about
how much am I willing to work in order to achieve my personal goals.
Indeed, I recently realized that I have been plagued by this balance question since I was in high
school. In high school, I wanted to be a cheerleader, run track, take advanced
classes, participate in service club, teach Sunday School, and perform in
school productions—among other things. I didn’t pursue these things because I
was trying to pad my résumé or trying to gain entry to the elite college where
I ultimately attended. I pursued these things because there was something
within me that actually wanted to be a part of school activities and contribute
to my community.
Being a bit of
an overachiever for my entire life doing too much has been ingrained in me. And that personality trait puts me in a
perpetual state of imbalance.
Becoming a
professional did not make the quest for balance any easier. I pursued a career
where long hours were expected and required. Becoming a mom (times 2) made me
passionate about the challenges affecting other working women and that passion
turned into a business. While I remain committed to pursuing a life that works
for me, I am also becoming keenly aware that being a working mom hasn’t created
my balance problem—being an overachiever has.
Also, balance is personal. Think of Goldilocks: We all want something that’s “just right.” However, what that looks like and what that feels like depends on personal tastes and personalities. It also depends on what you want out of life. We only get one chance at this thing called life and we all should commit ourselves to getting the most out of it. That said, how does that quest jive with living a balanced life?
It Helps Me To Know that Other Moms Struggle With Balance As Well
Below is a link to an
article about another overachieving working mom who has been much more
successful that I have been and has even more kids, Soledad O’Brien. If you
read the comments below her article you’ll see that many are critical of what
they perceive is her glib way of describing her quest for balance.
Although, I
agree that the success she has experienced makes her journey easier, I believe there are lessons
for all of us in her story. She asks working moms to "identify what you value and what you want to achieve." If we become more clear about our goals, we can make conscious choices. Although making conscious choices may not make you more balanced, it should give you more satisfaction about those choices.
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