"You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor should you feel the world must live up to yours" – F Perl.
Like many Black, female attorneys, I am beaming this week! Admittedly, the confirmation hearings illustrate that racism is alive and well, we have to work twice as hard to even get a seat at the table, and misogyny is a cancer that must be purged from the United States Senate. That said, I cannot tell express the immense pride that I felt at seeing Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson being interviewed for the most prestigious judicial position in all of the land.
I was really busy at work this week. So, I missed much of the confirmation hearings. I also missed much of them because I knew that I would be really emotional if I allowed the significance of it all to sink in. This Sunday, as I sip my tea and reflect on last week, I gave myself permission to reflect and to let it all sink in. And as I suspected, the emotions are intense.
The fact that she is a Black, working mom
Having Judge Jackson at that table is taking a hammer to the proverbial glass ceiling personified. Having her at that table is as
Senator Corey Booker pointed out, "[i]t's hard for me not to look at you and not see my mom, not to see my cousins...I see my ancestors and yours." In all candor, when I see her sitting there, I see myself. When I hear the senators coming for her and accusing her of being less than qualified, I hear every time someone has questioned my credentials.
Once, early in my career, I was invited to a community service event by one of the partners at my law firm. I was a young lawyer, eager to impress. So, I wore my good suit and my pearls--a recent purchase from a trip to San Francisco. At the event, a partner from another firm was seated next to me. I tried making conversation and kept getting ignored. Finally, clearly exasperated, he responded, "Are you one of the community residents?!" The tone he used suggested that he was disinterested in interacting with one of the residents was ironic considering why we were there. The assumption, after I had put so much effort into my appearance was like a slap in the face. And, it felt like he was saying, "regardless of your degrees and appearance, to me, you'll never be someone I find worthy of speaking to." Eventually, I told him that I was an associate at one of the largest firms in town, his demeanor changed and so did mine. I turned my back on him and said nothing more.
And although I have accomplished a lot since then. There are times even now that I hear the questions, even if unspoken. So, even though some pundits criticized Senator Booker's comments as being over the top, I found his comments spot, completely necessary and absolutely necessary.
“I’m just sitting here saying, ‘Nobody’s going to steal my joy. Nobody’s going to make me angry,’” Booker said as Jackson blotted her eyes with a tissue. “You have earned this spot. You are worthy. You are a great American.” --Senator Corey Booker
You see Judge Jackson is sitting there, in her truth, with her Harvard degrees, judicial experience, and legal training. She's sitting there in her beautiful clothes, calm demeanor, and quiet strength. She is brilliant, beyond qualified, and has impeccable credentials. And yet, numerous senators suggested that somehow she's not good enough.
That suggestion is one all Black female professionals confront daily. So, even though we know that we are qualified, believe in ourselves, and have been preparing for moments like that our entire professional lives, we are vulnerable, we are scared, and even though we may have supportive families, it is reassuring to hear one of the evaluators say out loud, "You are worthy."
Senator Bookers support was clear, unequivocal, and public. Indeed, that type of validation can be the lifeline that you need when you are sitting all alone, answering questions, and fighting the naysayers.
So, thank you Senator Booker for speaking up when you could have been silent. And, God bless Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson and the United States of America.
Also, by the way, for all of those reading, I would pay good money to have my daughter look at me with the kind of pride that her daughter expressed.
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