I Have Learned that I am Stronger than I Believed..

Mom with her friends

"You are stronger than you believe. You have greater powers than you know."--Wonder Woman

Last week was hard, really hard, emotionally. I won't bore you with the details because other folks suffered more acutely. The death of Kobe Bryant made me re-think this post. How selfish would I be to wallow in my troubles when everyone I love most are still walking the face of the earth and have the opportunity to remedy any mistakes made.

So, this post isn't about complaining as much as it is about celebrating the resilience of the human spirit and our ability to thrive in the face of troubles.

We cry because we are human. We thrive because we are heroes.

Last week, contained more disappointment and tears than I am used to.  Fortunately, it was not a life and death situation. Still, I struggled. Despite the struggle, my obligations persisted. There were decisions to make at work, children to raise, and school events for those children to attend. Accordingly, I needed to show up, do the work, and thrive. I had to do those things because people depend on me.

And I did all of it.

I don't share this to get a pat on the back. However, if you see me, I'll take one and a hug... I share it to let you know three things.

1. The struggle is a part of your life, but it is not all of it. Look around you to see the sweetness of life while you're in the midst of the struggle. It is there! As I was feeling the panoply of emotions that accompanies struggle, I also received compliments, kudos at work, and the most amazing hugs from my kids. I learned that I can be struggling in one area and crushing it another. That is my new definition of balance.
2. Struggle does not constitute failure.  It is a sign of life. Remember, "rain falls on the just and on the unjust". Accordingly, going through it does not constitute failure and doesn't reflect who you are. With that in mind, I have decided that I should have no shame attached to struggling. Instead, I shall hold my head high and live my life. That said, not everybody needs to know the details. 
3. You do not have to let everybody know you're struggling in order to "keep it real".  Indeed, unless you are 20 and have the luxury of allowing your troubles to consume you, you have to learn how to have "all the feels" and keep it moving. So, even though I was upset most of the week, the only people who knew were those I chose to tell--otherwise, I was "business as usual". Doing that also allowed me to compartmentalize the problem and have some relief in the midst of the storm. 

Although the struggle is not over, last week's lessons taught me that I can withstand whatever comes. They also taught me that I am stronger than I ever imagined. Because life isn't about how great we perform when things are perfect. It is about how we show up and excel when things are less than perfect. I am blessed that I have many perfect-ish days. But when ish hits the fan, I know that I have a raincoat called confidence and faith that allow me to survive without any of it showing.