Equity does not exist in households where women make more!

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Mom with kids on vacation "Female breadwinners face a much higher risk for burnout, infidelity, and divorce."  When She Makes More ,  Farnoosh Torabi Prince is one of my favorite artists. And, I think that it is genius that the beginning of his famous song, "Let's go crazy" mimics a marriage ceremony. It makes you wonder whether he was suggesting that marriage itself was a path to insanity. If you have forgotten the beginning, here you go, "Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today, To get through this thing called "life" Electric word, life, It means forever and that's a mighty long time, But I'm here to tell you  There's something else..." He writes the afterworld in the blank. However, a recent study suggests that "marriage" could be inserted in its place, especially marriage for high earning women. 
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Infidelity: Do Men Cheat Because Their Rings Are Too Tight...

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A few weeks ago while out to dinner with friends a married guy confessed that despite being married for ten years he never really adjusted to wearing his wedding ring. The way he made it sound, the ring was imposed on him the way an orange jumpsuit is imposed on prisoners--and whenever he could, he removed it as a way to make him feel free again.

He told us that he took his ring off to shower, cook, and even watch TV. We questioned why he was so uncomfortable. Although it wasn’t really funny, we laughed. Not because it was amusing but because the entire thing seemed so very odd.

Now, I have greater insight. The ring didn’t feel so much feel uncomfortable. It was that he never had really taken to marriage. Right after he told me about how frequently he takes off his ring he asked for a kiss. Imagine that?! A married man being bold enough to ask such a question. After declining his request I became intrigued. Years ago I would have asked myself what vibe I had put out to invite such a request. However, now I realized it’s not about me.
 

Getting Used to Marriage May Require an Adjustment Period 


It took me a few weeks, but I finally get it.

The guy has never taken to marriage the way I have never taken to being on time. When I get home from work, the first thing that I do is take off my watch. While it is a gorgeous piece of jewelry, it is a reminder of my shortcomings. Unlike most people, my watch doesn’t keep me on time. It is a constant reminder that I am always running at least a few minutes late.

When I get home I instantly remove my watch so that I can feel more comfortable.

Even though I didn’t kiss the married guy, I kind of understand. His ring reminds him that he is failing as a husband. So whenever he can, he wants to remove it. Taking it off doesn’t make him less married, but somehow it feels less uncomfortable.

Unlike like him, I make a sincere effort to be on time. And I intend to succeed more often. Considering the brazen request for a kiss, it doesn't seem like he is trying at all.


Chaton Turner, EzineArticles.com Basic Author
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Comments

thubbs said…
That is a thoughtful analysis and I appreciated the fact that you made me - a HAPPILY married man who is "trying" - think about what I put out there in the world about my marriage. Somewhere along the way, marriage seems to have gotten a "bad rap" among some of my brothers. Do you think it is "natural" to be faithful or is a modern construct?
11:45 AM
Anonymous said…
Certain anthropologists and biologists have long argued that life long fidelity is unnatural. I think what they mean is that everyone is tempted to stray. Even Jimmy Carter admitted that he had lusted in his heart. However, there's a long way between being tempted and being unfaithful. Based on the way that you phrased the question, you sound like a good guy who's making a sincere effort AND succeeding! Best of luck to you.
1:17 PM
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